Leadership would be easier if it weren't for all these people.

People are what make your business successful. In addition, they make it complex, challenging and frustrating. Why? Because everyone is different. That was the discussion I had with Kyle this week.

At any one time you and your people are at different stages in their life which they have different needs. Each individual communicates differently and interprets information differently. In addition, people learn differently, have different needs and constantly battle their own insecurities. As leaders, we must learn how to "read" these behaviors, adjust our communication to match theirs and still try to get something accomplished. On top of all that, we need to own our behavior, and to a certain degree, the behaviors of others. This is quite a daunting task. While this can be very difficult, it is one of the major factors that separates leaders from managers.

Conflicts in business arise every day. These can be positive, such as collaborating on a new production process. It may create disagreements and even arguments, but the goal of the group is not to attack, but make the process better. Other conflicts may be negative. They are the actions that serve no other purpose than to disrupt. Spreading rumors, name calling and accusations are examples of these.

Often the negative conflicts take us away from what we really should be doing which is achieving the Vision of the company. Instead we end up putting out fires and doing what we often call "babysitting." As a leader it can be the most draining part of your work.

However, successfully proactively dealing with individuals' communication style and behavior can be quite rewarding. Part of leadership is becoming a master of reading people. Learning what makes someone do what they do allows us to potentially curb that behavior for a more positive one. It comes at a cost though. It forces us to own the communication process. We must accept that our actions dictate the actions of others and that can make us resentful because we can't make the other person own their behaviors. What we need to remember is we cannot change others, we can only change ourselves. And it's only when we change that others will.